Getting into a new relationship for the first time in a while can be daunting. In this article, Beauty and Tips takes a look at a few ways in which you can minimise the anxiety.
When we get into a new relationship for the first time in a while, it’s normal to experience a number of wide-ranging emotions. These can range from giddy excitement to nerves to full-on anxiety and stress. There are questions we ask, such as: How do we know the other person is really interested in us? What if they soon get bored and this was just a passing phase for them? Do they like us as much as we like them?
We also worry about having to leave our comfort zone, having to commit to someone and having to change our lives around a bit and adapt to a new person. The feelings and emotions we experience aren’t all that different to the ones we feel when we experience other forms of upheaval, whether that includes a change of career or moving to a new city. Here are some of the things you might be experiencing right now:
Fear of a loss of control
Desperation
Sleeplessness
Heart palpitations
Neediness
Possessiveness
The last two are especially hard for us to deal with. If we haven’t been in a relationship for a while, it’s normal to get so scared that it will soon end that we become needy and a bit possessive. We desperately try to find out how the other person is feeling, look for a sign of how much they like us and so on. This can cause us to text too often, to request more and more phone calls and to see them all the time. This doesn’t mean you’re a naturally needy person, it just means that you might be experiencing new relationship anxiety and finding it hard to deal with. For the sake of the relationship and your own peace of mind, it’s very important that you get a grip on your emotions as soon as possible. Here is how to deal with anxiety about a new relationship.
Relax
It’s very easy to tell someone to relax but it’s not always easy to relax ourselves. The thing is that constantly asking yourself “what if?” won’t change anything. If you two met on an online dating site, you could drive yourself crazy asking if the other person is still talking to someone else online. However, just asking yourself that question won’t do you any favours. Instead, you need to rescind control. There are things you can’t change but there are things you can make worse. For example, if you nag the other person about whether or not they’re talking to someone else or if they like you, they will eventually get annoyed and you’ll ruin a good thing. Moreover, the things we spend most of our time worrying about rarely turn out to have any truth to them. Relax, be happy that someone says they like you and take each moment as it comes.
Stay Grounded With your Expectations
Ever got into a new relationship with someone and got super duper excited about them…only to discover after a week or so that they can’t match the vision you had of them in your head? This is especially true where online dating is concerned. We fall for the person on the screen, dream up fantasies of what they might be like in person…and then you can get a bit disappointed when they can’t match said fantasies. It’s a shame but this is why you need to stay grounded and keep your expectations in check. If you build the other person up too much in your head, you’re only going to end up disappointed. Enjoy being with someone new and like them for who they are, but not for who you want them to be. If you do this, there’s a much better chance that the relationship will last and you will also soon discover that you actually love who they really are.
Have Trust
Without wanting to get all Zen, it’s important that you trust the process. It’s so easy to obsess and overthink when we get into a new relationship with someone. And when we obsess and overthink, we ruin what could otherwise have been a good thing. Have faith. Have trust that this will all work out. Let nature run its course. Don’t panic and rush things. Don’t obsess.
Don’t Be Scared of Rejection
Hey, sometimes things don’t work out. Sometimes a new relationship doesn’t make it past a few weeks. Don’t sweat about this. Don’t take it as a sign that you’re being rejected. Instead, understand that not everyone is compatible. At first, the initial rush of excitement can mask incompatibility. We get along well with someone, seemingly gel with them…but then reality hits as we realise that, actually, we’re not right for each other. It’s MUCH better that you discover this as soon as possible. Don’t fear it. If two people weren’t right for each other, that’s just the way it is. It only means that there is someone else out there for you.
Don’t Read Their Mind
None of us are mind readers. So how come we spend so much of our time trying to read our new partner’s mind and second guessing what they’re thinking?! Many of us do this. We get into a new relationship with someone, and if they don’t directly tell us that they’re having a good time with us, we try to read their minds to guess how they’re feeling. And, of course, all our guesses are negative. But know this: Just as you’re trying to read their mind, they’re probably trying to read yours! If something truly is bothering you, pipe up and ask them a question. Otherwise, stop playing the mind reading game. It’s incredibly stressful. It’s the same when they don’t text back for a while. Don’t second guess their reasons. Just accept that they will text eventually.
Do you have other tips on how to beat new relationship anxiety?
Stay happy!
Beauty and Tips